A very old friend of mine felt sorry for me this week on the
fact I have lost my faith on the Catholic God. It is true that I have been
baptised and I even did my confirmation when I was about seventeen. Actually,
the same very age I met the referred friend. Back in that time, I used to be a
humble fearful servant to the love of God having a very strong relationship
with the Church. Even more ironically is the fact that I was the one reuniting
my friend to… faith.
Over twenty years later, there isn't the most vaguely shadow
of that boy in the man I am today. However, for those who are used to follow my
blog, there are lots of clues and remains of my childhood along the texts
pointing this out. Freud and Yung aside, where exactly the adult version of me
has turned the back to religion in general?
Religion should be a reference, some sort of guidance for a
high spiritual behaviour narrowing the path towards God. Meanwhile, in a planet
figuring over seven billions of souls facing serious health issues, populated
by shallow values, consuming societies, and full of ego-dystonic communities,
it doesn't seem to me that prays and novenas – like ever – have been making a
better race of humans or a better world. Even worse is the thought that it may only
do better for life in a very, very individual way.
Statistically, people become more religious and grow in
faith as the age grows. In other words, when they realize that the mystic and
mysterious ending is getting closer, some king of ‘celestial benefits’ or some
sort of heaven policy must be arranged in order to assure the access to the
other side. Now, I know I am being quite harsh to the authentic religious
people but I am just building up an argument.
Looking back to History before Christians, over 2000 years
ago, when the Roman Empire had spread its doctrine during centuries for the
vast areas between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans and, before them, for more
over 3000 year, in the Egypt, fathers had taught their sons through generations
and generations to venerate their kings as gods, I wonder: 3000 years are
seriously a lot of years, G! At least 1000 more than Catholicism… and for as
long as it was, legacies and societies were raised up, lived, and died upon
those beliefs. And even though they surely lived their religion experiences in
a much more profound and dedicated way than we live ours nowadays, some of
their gods can be seen at the British Museum and not just only that, we also
learn about them in school, like we do with algebra or geography but
contextualized as mythology.
Somehow, it became clear to me that in the future, when the
Earth’s core has been moved or twisted around and the whole urban architectures
as we know have been under snow, somewhere in the Caribbean islands, people
will be teaching about the Catholic Mythology and its deep impact into the
socio-economics-politic development of that era.
Yet, looking over the human evolution, from the wheel
invention, from the fire discovery to the historic journey of Casini spaceship
to Saturn, or even about storms and cataclysm, plagues and inexplicable
diseases, how could we have survived without a god?
It is notorious for me that almost 6000 years later to the
writing invention, whereby we still have gods with elephant heads in the most
populated nation in the world, that man still hasn't learnt what are God’s
wishes, nor even strength faith itself. Well, the most Italian heritage that
could still remaining in the Catholicism, nowadays, is the ability to commit
some sinful indiscretion. Just in case we might have nothing to confess next
Sunday…
I always have in consideration that when my mother studied
chemistry in the 50´s, a half dozen of metals or gazes had not yet been catalogued.
In fact, we don’t have to go back in time that far! The periodic table that I
used when I was in school in the 80´s was already shorter in elements than the
one my nephew has been using now. But imagine, what those unknown materials and
odours could mean for those who, full of unawareness, have met them?
I had some contact with magic and esoteric practises and I
read a lot about Spiritualism, something about Buddhism and it is worthless
talking about Judaism. I am son of Yemanja with Ogun, Gemini by the solar
horoscope and Pig by the Chinese one. I read Taro and on my strongest days in
the past I’ve done some card reading using an English deck!
I believe that the material and energetic world retains
thousands of secrets and keys we haven’t seen, found or understood yet. Quantum
Physics is a small baby comparing to mathematics age. Somehow, I found peace in
the fact that I am living in the era where we are, as we have always been,
surrounded by the limits of our present evolution. Unfortunately, common sense,
some groups, and even entire societies they take the comfort their souls need out of hypothetical thoughts,
short explanations, and theories, exactly as their
ancestors needed to do in order to go through devastations as El Niño or even plagues
as the red or black ones.
This look upon History, upon our entire trajectory, and also
for have watched tones of National Geographic channel, makes me realize that we
are the only living creatures disconnected from our biologic nature, from the
planet, and cosmos. We do insist in keep living around active volcanos or
above seismic cracks when we know by fact that someday, any day, things may run
badly. We are also the only homothermous stubborn specie living immersed in ice
or caved in into a desert!
Every year, hundreds and hundreds of different species they
cross over the planet running away from cold, seeking food, or just for
procreation. They are amazing beings fully equipped with natural-organic
radars, sonars, censorial lines, thermostats and GPS, but if a human being says
he had a feeling, foreseen something or predicted whatever, he is medicated and
people around this person may show some ostracism because, after all,
schizophrenia is some serious and, for some misinformed, dangerous decease!
Halooooooo?
In my point of view, we get this all so very wrong. Think
about it, how much more healthy it would be if you had free mornings instead of
free nights? Having some quality sun light bursting you out with vitamin D in a blue
sky after you and your partner and child had taken the breakfast together! You
all could even get lunch together, enjoying the day, before starting the work,
school or even housekeeping! At night, instead of getting fat in front a TV
doing nothing we would do a light meal, shower, and bed! Renovating for one more
gorgeous day surrounded by those you love most in the sun!
We are simply victims of our own evolving trajectory
regarding decisions, social organizations, schemes, and structure of how we have been solving the needs of managing life under the most stupid and useless rules and
beliefs in the past 8000 years. Let’s agree upon this, that a little help from
a god was very welcome and helpful.
So, living in a world where approximately 98% of people
believe in God, you might be wondering, how does he do?
Well, finding myself gay in the middle of a dictator South American country has provided me lots of practice in how to survive under a
disguise (LOL). But I just don’t have any Tudor tendency to fight against a
whole belief to change it, break up with it, or even to establish another new
one based on mine. I don’t mind and I don’t feel bothered by any belief and in
fact, I have a profound respect and sense of understanding regarding the need
of having it (especially religion) and I also recognize the benefits some of those religious
movements may bring to one’s life.
I am fascinated by human nature and human behaviour and I
feel myself part of a system as important as water and wind for the creation of
Grand Canyon. I enjoy being alive and I am sure there are millions of
opportunities ahead and that fills my 'spirit' with expectation and hope and that
nurtures my 'soul'.
I do not care about the mysteries we just cannot explain but
I will not reject what I can feel. Humans are living longer and so, brand new
aspects of our physique are coming up revealing things, confirming knowledge
but also, putting down old, once, certainties.
At last, when I look over my lack of faith, I realise how I
behave myself, through life, and toward others and then, I dare to say that I live
much more like a Christian than those who cross their chest passing by a church.
I see myself as a person with an active spirit and vibrant soul (or just nice unblock neuro-cognitive system. Yet). Even though a
strange version of myself still needing some ‘divine intervention’ regarding
the falling in love issues. But please, do not feel sorry for me. I am fine.
I believe all of you will have a nice week.
Eduardo Divério
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